Salt

Women Can't Lead a Movie

I just saw Salt and I loved the story. The whole time your wondering where her loyalties lie, but I have one huge criticism. Why hasn't anyone realized that Angelina Jolie can't act? First of all everyone is to distracted about her over-sized lips to pay attention to the movie and of course she tries to be sexy. There's a part where she takes her underwear off from underneath her skirt to put on a security camera.... Necessary? No... but thats just how pathetic her movies are.

There is always this 'a woman can kick ass' mentality in movies, ranging from Kill Bill to Planet Terror to Catwoman. Hasn't anyone learned that in reality women can't kick ass? They are fragile delicate things... So I'm sorry but Jolie jumping onto the top of a semi, speeding down the highway at 90 seems a little retarded. With that being said, the shifts in the plot were predictable in my opinion, although there was one good surprise in the movie. I liked the idea of it and they set up for a sequel, which I can't say I won't see but then again I see everything.

Russian spies is always an exciting storyline, I just can't stand Angelina Jolie. Oh and there was a woman priest presiding over a Catholic funeral. The action sequences of this movie were not good but even still the storyline was intriguing. I think Angeline Jolie needs to quit trying to be something she is not --- sexy. Phillip Noyce is a decent B rate director though and so he pulled off about a B rate movie. It'll make some money and comfort women by encouraging them to jump off overpasses onto 18 wheelers. I wish Jolie missed the truck and got nailed by another semi in the first 15 minutes of the movie. I don't buy her badass sexiness... its a little too forced to me. If you want to see it, go into it knowing that its just another typical 'girls rule' movie.

Jury's Verdict - C

Who should play the new Batman villains?

My opinion:

Joker -- Daniel Day-Lewis

Penguin -- Phillip Seymour Hoffman

The Riddler -- Johnny Depp

Catwoman (God Forbid) -- Maggie Gyllenhal coming back from the explosion with burns all over her, hence the latex suit.

What do yall think?

Top Ten Endings

I usually favor surprise endings, but I figured I would put some very meaningful endings on here as well... When I speak of the endings, there are no spoilers -- no worries.

1. The Sixth Sense

Come on guys, everyone knows that this is the biggest surprise ending of all-time. It was right under our noses the entire time.

2. The Usual Suspects

What an amazing unforgettable image of the footsteps down the sidewalk. Incredible. Bryan Singer's debut couldn't have been better. Keyser Soze!

3. On The Waterfront

The heroes march, all you can do is root for him. He's beaten to a pulp, but stays on his feet.

4. Silence of the Lambs

From Hannibal Lector's ingenious escape to the famous night vision scene in Buffalo Bill's basement. The ending is keeps you on the edge of your seat for so long that your back gets sore.

5. Matchstick Men

I didn't see it coming. And like the Sixth Sense, the ending elucidates what you have been seeing all along.

6. Ocean's 11

The entire movie you are wondering how in the world are they going to pull this off. And most of the movie is them explaining how they are going to as Soderbergh shows them doing it. How it culminates is incredible.

7. Seven

I don't know what's better, the plot twist or Kevin Spacey's character, John Doe. The ending is sad, but so fitting to the characters.

8. Signs

I just loved how this ending had everything come together in the end. M. Night Shyamalan gives us these little elements associated with each character throughout the movie and brings them together for the grand finale. Also when Jacquain Phoenix is inside beaten the shit out of the alien and Mel's outside with his son, the camera pans over to the window to look through it, and James Newton Howard's three-note, chilling original score picks up.... It's just so great movie making.

9. The Blair Witch Project

What a chilling last image and then BAM! the movies done. With how the movie is filmed with a camcorder, the ending is perfect for it.

10. Shawshank Redemption

There's a great shot where the Frank Darabont (the director) shows the warden's face peer down the rabbit hole after tearing the poster off. It's just so cool. And of course its raining, how classic.

11. The Thomas Crown Affair

I just loved this ending, cause its smart and you look at Pierce Brosnan's character and you just have to say.... "You're a clever little devil aren't ya?"Especially that whole mixed up maze of men with bowler hats in the art museum. That's so cool.

12. Casablanca

Are there many more classic scenes than Humphrey Bogart at the airport sending his love off in the plane? The guy has a heart! He isn't just some smooth, talking George Clooney. He's Rick! And I think he's OK.

13. The Village

Most surprise endings focus on a how or a who? But Shyamalan pulls off a when.... That is so original and creative to me. And he gives a reason behind it. Its not a surprise ending for the sake of a surprise ending. Its a ending that fits the story and psychi of the characters. Reminds me of Christendom College, actually....

14. Citizen Kane

After 2+ hours of seeing the corruption of a successful man, we see Rosebud -- one of the most classic iconography names in Hollywood. And your wondering what or who Rosebud is the whole movie, only to be surprised of what it is to such a corrupt man.

15. Memento

The ending is really the beginning, because of the ingenious reverse timeline idea by Christopher Nolan. But how the story actually begins (and the movie ends) is quite the shocker. It plays perfectly off of Lenny's short-term memory loss condition.

16. Fight Club

Now lets get this straight. The big penis that flashes on the screen at the end is not why I love this ending. I love the ending because it calls into question the legitimacy of everything you have seen thus far. Who is Tyler Durdan? It's fast paced and intense for the last 20 minutes, only to end with an explosive show and the Pixies singing "Where is my mind?". Beautiful, just beautiful.

17. Saw

What you thought was a prop the entire movie became the last "Jigsaw" puzzle piece. I love its simplicity and delivery. The music picks up and sends shivers to your ass. I didn't like the whole "Game Over!" line, it reminded me of those tragic years trying to beat Mario.

18. The Game

Its just a cool concept. The whole movie your thinking this some terrible stuff that is happening, but those two words bursted out when the rooftop access door opens sends your head for a spin.

19. The Others

This is one of the most underrated endings, because it was out the same time as the Sixth Sense. Bad timing from the producers, but if watched now the ending would be great and no one would say... "hey that's been done before". Plus Nicole Kidman looks good as a 1800's estate owner, so modest, so modest.

20. Pulp Fiction

How could I not put this on? Tarantino pretty much invented the skewed timeline, which would be used for many shocking endings there after. The delivery is pretty decent, of course the lines are funny, but what puts this on the list is how it revolutionized film making. Memento would have never been made unless it was for Pulp Fiction.

Law Abiding Citizen

Justice -- a Dish Best Served Cold...

Law Abiding Citizen is a bad-ass movie. It calls into question how far true justice can go before it isn't justice at all. The movie centers around Gerard Butler whose wife and daughter are raped and killed before his very eyes. His lawyer, Jamie Foxx, takes a deal to ensure his high conviction rate, allowing the main culprit a plea bargain that only amounts to 5 years in prison. Butler is pissed over the system and 10 years later develops an elaborate plan to kill everyone involved in the injustice the system turned on him.

The movie calls into question how far is too far before justice is attained. Butler blamed the system for the injustice given to him and his family's murderers. So he feels that the just thing to do is to bring the system down. In a way the audience can sympathize with him, because its true -- our justice system, as well as many other systems of government, can allow bureaucracy to compromise the true purpose of the system itself. So what do you do?

The film shows how the means do not justify the end. Sure Butler wants to set the system straight, but that doesn't mean he has to go around and mutilate everyone involved. It manifests the corruption of a man, noble in intent, yet vicious in method. The ending of the movie perfectly portrays the result of such corruption. Our society today has fallen victim to the heresy that the ends do justify the means. This film speaks as an opponent to that notion for it shows the result of such dangerous, psychological sentiments.

The dynamic of this film is unique to most other 'cop vs bad-guy' movies. Gerard Butler is still in jail, while he continues to kill people. He is somehow able to always be one step ahead of the cops, anticipate their next move, and let them walk in to their own death. Its a very smart movie that provides an interesting discussion for later. Although there are some very gory scenes it is ultimately 'stomachable' and worth the Redbox rental.

Jury's Verdict: B+

My Top Ten Favorite Movies

1. The Usual Suspects

2. Ocean's 11

3. Fight Club

4. Pulp Fiction

5. Moulin Rouge

6. The Dark Knight

7. You've Got Mail

8. Seven

9. Dumb and Dumber

10. American Beauty

Toy Story 3

The Little Toys That Could
Ok, so everyone knows that third installments to movies usually suck (the only exception being Return of the King), but Pixar pulled it off, of course. All of your favorite characters have come back for a movie filled with laughs, cries and suspense, compiling the classic American movie. The Pixar revolution has never been about the graphics, in my opinion. Rather, it simply gives rationality to things without it, thus opening an entire interactive world for the viewer. Think about it. Cars, Fish, Bugs, Toys, etc... Pixar gives these things we crash, flush down toilets and squash on a daily basis human emotion, allowing the audience to catch themselves feeling empathy for things that ultimately don't matter. It's the Pixar formula and it has never failed. And that is why everyone is so damn excited when they see that little lamp hop across the screen.

As most great movies, the characters drive it. But by a third installment wouldn't the characters get a little old? Probably, but the filmmakers wisely put a few spins on the old characters and introduce some new ones. I mean come on, how could a Buzz Lightyear in Spanish mode not be fresh? The introduction to Barbie and Ken's eternal meeting? Or even Mr. Potato head when he becomes Mr. Cucumber head? These knew introductions and take off of old classic toys are priceless. The audience sits there and says "Oh! I used to have one of those!" It brings the child to laughter and brings the adult back to the innocence of childhood.

The movie follows Woody and all our favorite toys to SunnySide daycare center, where toys can be loved forever. Andy's going to school and handing down the toys. The toys are excited about the daycare, except Woody, until they are beaten relentlessly to a pulp by the toddlers. The big kid room is ruled by a mafia of sorts of other toys. So they have to escape. Get it? Pretty simple. But who said simple can't be great? In my opinion usually the simplest of things is the greatest of things and Toy Story 3 follows suit.

Toy Story 3 is a wild adventure of laughs and cries. It manifests the ever-present human desire to be loved and leaves the audience loving their favorite toys more and more. It's incredible to me how Pixar has made a children's film that adults even like more. Of course Pixar succeeds again and leaves us wanting to go back in that old toy chest of ours to take a trip down memory lane, where imagination was the fun itself.

Jury's Verdict: A-

Inception

A Dream You Don't Want to Forget

In a film world of Blockbuster explosions and sexy US Weekly celebrities, Christopher Nolan has delivered the most mature movie in years. The famed, London-native director who gave us the shrilling laugh of the Joker in The Dark Knight and the reverse timeline puzzle in Memento, has made a film for an educated audience. From the first scene to the haunting last image, he implores the audience to think through the entire 2 and half hour film. Don't worry though, its not like studying for a Latin test, rather its like coming to understand an elaborate riddle, laid out for you piece by piece.

The film follows Cobb (played by Leo), a renegade extractor who specializes in entering people's dreams to "extract" information for high paying clients. He is offered a job to instead of extract information, implant information into a corporate business heir's mind. This practice, called inception, usually stands out of the question, but given Cobb's present fugitive status he consents to the job. So he and his crew (all with different functions) set up a three tiered dream for the mark (ultimately, a dream within a dream within a dream). With his subconscious fixed on his kids at home and dead wife, these obstacles tend to get in the way of his most dangerous job yet and puts him at risk of falling into a prolonged dream state limbo.

Watching it reminded me of Fight Club in that Nolan shoots a lot of quick cut scenes that seem to fill the film's time span with constant intrigue. He sets up an entire reality for you and everything within it from a laws of gravity to the stretched timeline. Its kind of like doing a power hour to one of those Disney dvd's that change every minute. The scene never gets stale and somehow at the end it all makes sense.

What Avatar did to the eyes, Inception has done to the mind. This movie is very comforting to watch, for it pushes no liberal piece of crap agenda or calls into question any moral stake of watching the movie. You leave the theater relieved with the knowledge that there is a filmmaker, such as Christopher Nolan, who can just tell a great story and presuppose the audience's intelligence. The movie has been incredibly well received by its audiences, showing big Hollywood that its audience is not comprised of a bunch of vacuous drones, challenging them almost to make a more mentally in depth film. Frankly, I think the American audience is tired of crying over gay cowboys and laughing over the same old sex joke. Christopher Nolan has raised the bar by stirring a brew of movies like Fight Club, the Matrix, the Cell and Memento together -- out from which came Inception. This is an instant Cult Film and this movie will be puzzled over for years to come.

Jury's Verdict: A-